The essay pays “tribute to the irreplaceable and inseparable institutions of marriage and fatherhood — and the importance of a father’s love, discipline, provision and protection for his family.” It also says a few plain spoken truths about the damage that daddy-less homes have caused in this country.

Below you will find an excerpt from the essay. I encourage you to read the entire essay, however, as there’s plenty of good stuff packed in it.

In 295 B.C., Mencius wrote, “The root of the kingdom is in the state. The root of the state is in the family. The root of the family is in the person of its head.”

When fathers do not take on their parental responsibilities, broken marriages and families are the result. These, in turn, lead to broken societies.

Thus, the failure of fatherhood has much more than mere social or cultural consequences; it is a menacing national security threat. The collective social pathology of the fatherless presents a great obstacle to Liberty and the survival of our republican form of government as outlined by our Constitution.

Father’s Day should thus be a call to action. Indeed, the majority of social entropy afflicting our nation today originates in homes without fathers, which definition includes those without functioning or effective fathers.

Currently, almost 60 percent of black children, 32 percent of Hispanic children and 21 percent of white children live in single-parent homes. (See Bill Cosby’s “Truth about Black America.”) According to the CDC, DoJ, DHHS and the Bureau of the Census, children who live apart from their fathers account for 63 percent of teen suicides, 70 percent of juveniles in state-operated institutions, 71 percent of high-school dropouts, 75 percent of children in chemical-abuse centers, 80 percent of rapists, 85 percent of youths in prison, 85 percent of children who exhibit behavioral disorders, and 90 percent of homeless and runaway children. (When these children become “adults,” the social consequences become even worse.)

Generationally, daughters who have been abandoned by their fathers are seven times more likely to have children as teenagers and 92 percent more likely to divorce.

A successful fatherhood begins with a healthy marriage. To be good fathers, we must first be good husbands.

I have been blessed with many mentors, including Dr. Jim Lee, director of Living Free ministries. Jim taught me that the Christian marriage paradigm is built on a foundation of five principles: “First, God is the creator of the marriage relationship; second, heterosexuality is God’s pattern for marriage; third, monogamy is God’s design for marriage; fourth, God’s plan for marriage is for physical and spiritual unity; and fifth, marriage was designed to be permanent.”

Concern about marital infidelity and the consequences for children are timeless. John Adams wrote in his diary on 2 June 1778, “The foundation of national morality must be laid in private families. … How is it possible that Children can have any just Sense of the sacred Obligations of Morality or Religion if, from their earliest Infancy, they learn their Mothers live in habitual Infidelity to their fathers, and their fathers in as constant Infidelity to their Mothers?”

I note here that while most fatherless homes are the result of neglect on the part of fathers, an increasing number of fatherless homes result from mothers who separate without reasonable grounds from the fathers of their children.

Fortunately, some young people reared by a single parent, or in critically dysfunctional or impoverished homes, overcame that impediment. Either they were blessed with a parent who, against all but insurmountable odds, instilled them with the values and virtues of good citizenship or, somewhere along the way, those children were lifted out of their misery by some other grace of God — often in the form of a significant mentor who modeled individual responsibility and good character.

However, the vast majority of children from homes without fathers are not so fortunate, as statistically confirmed above.

The main reason is connotation. We believe the term ‘daddy’ to be one of endearment and intimacy. It alludes to a closeness, a tighter bond if you will. The term you hear from excited kids as they run to greet you from merely surviving the trip home from work. The sound you hear when your children need a hug, a kiss goodnight, or money for a gift or toy. (Thank the Lord I was blessed with two boys and not girls.)

The term ‘father’ on the other hand, seems to be more proper and distant. It commands respect almost, and while there is nothing wrong with that, it seems to convey that of a drill sergeant more than a life coach. Maybe it’s just a term of a different time period. I’m not sure exactly, but it would be extremely awkward for me to call my dad ‘Father’.

On a side note, which phrase sounds better anyway? “Who’s your father?” Or, “who’s yo daddy?”

“Oh no he didn’t! He did not just go there.”

“Uuhhh hmmmmm! He sure did girlfriend!”

But I digress.

Therefore, this somewhat explains our tagline, “Any guy can father a child, it takes a man to be a daddy.” There are too many instances where some male members of society either take a spectator’s role in their fathering responsibilities or forsake them altogether. These are essentially the sperm donors or seed spreaders. These are the ones that would prefer to hear Maury Povich say those famous lines, “You are NOT the father.” These are the ones that aren’t able to see past their own nose. They fail to realize the true implications of an innocent child that grows up without a strong male influence.

A daddy knows his role. He is love-stricken at first sight. He takes on his responsibility as life coach and doubts the possibility that he is capable. He learns as the child learns. He makes mistakes and messes up but fixes it and tries again, and again, and again. He cries out to God for help and guidance and seeks counsel from those around him. He’s unsure if he handled that situation correctly but he tries to do the right thing. He hopes he can teach his children how not to make the same mistakes he seems to keep making. Daddies don’t give up and they don’t give in. They love unconditionally until they find out even more love existed than they ever dreamed possible.

Father’s Day is coming up and we are not in the business of trying to change that label to Daddy’s Day or correct anyone’s use of the term ‘father’. This is simply our explanation for how we view our roles and what we are doing. Being a good father and being a good daddy are the exact same thing. However, ultimately, when push comes to shove it is our desire that when our children see us coming that they tell their friends, “that’s MY Dad” or in the case of the picture above, “bab”.

“I need socks, too.”

A few months ago, my son uttered the sentence above. The story is quite a common one especially in this household (much to the chagrin of mommajulie). Of course, it’s been said that imitation is the best form of flattery. Let me explain.

My son and I were getting ourselves ready to play the Wii. The game of choice was either going to be Star Wars Legos or Mario Kart Wii; I don’t remember, and frankly it’s not that vital a piece of information anyway. Well, a cold front had blown through and dropped the temperature quite a bit. Point is, my feet were cold. So I said, “I need socks first.”

Of course, my son followed suit with the above quote, “I needs socks, too.” My wife also responded with semi-jealousy and semi-adoration, “Did you hear that?” With a smile on my face, I simply affirmed hearing my son’s reply.

This is not a rare occurrence. Also, there are times when mommajulie has to try to talk my son into doing something that is to his betterment while I can simply swoop in and just say the words, and well, it is done. She doesn’t think it’s fair but her jealousy is something that she will need to work out with much prayer and meditation. ‘Life isn’t fair’ or ‘It is what it is’ would be common replies to her plight.

At five years old, he still wants to be just like me but he’s also starting to realize some value in individualism. Superman is not his favorite super-hero like he is mine. He’s on a Batman kick right now without even seeing “Dark Knight” yet. He’s gone through the Spider-man phase and the Iron Man phase and who knows who will remain king of the hill when all is said and done. Maybe it’ll turn out to be Superman like me and maybe it won’t. Regardless of who it is, I have to make sure that I remain his hero.

In a time where it appears there is a growing decline in daddyhood, I need to make sure my sons see a proper example on how to live and on how to be a man. When things are left alone, they tend towards chaos rather than order. In order to give my sons their best chance in life, I have to show them how to live.

It’s often said of children that they have their ‘Daddy’s eyes’ or nose, smile, laugh, or in my case, yawn. Good Daddies give far more traits than just physical ones. Children learn how to succeed from their fathers. Involved fathers can give their children stronger work ethics. An involved father can increase integrity and self-responsibility. Children can learn to study from their fathers. Fathers can teach children how to try and fail so that one day they can try and succeed. More importantly, children learn how to pray and work on their spiritual life by watching their fathers. They learn how important you really think prayer is and where God really falls on life’s priority list.

We must be the example even in times of solitude when we think no body is watching because our children will imitate that as well. I’m reminded of lyrics by a father-son duo Aaron Jeoffrey that included the following message to Jesus, “I want to be just like You, because he wants to be like me.”