Fatherhood vs. Daddyhood

We are unequivocally aware that in actuality the terms ‘fatherhood’ and ‘daddyhood’ are interchangeable. In fact, we are even further aware that ‘fatherhood’ is used at an extremely higher rate than ‘daddyhood’. Nonetheless, we prefer the term ‘daddy’ over ‘father’.

The main reason is connotation. We believe the term ‘daddy’ to be one of endearment and intimacy. It alludes to a closeness, a tighter bond if you will. The term you hear from excited kids as they run to greet you from merely surviving the trip home from work. The sound you hear when your children need a hug, a kiss goodnight, or money for a gift or toy. (Thank the Lord I was blessed with two boys and not girls.)

The term ‘father’ on the other hand, seems to be more proper and distant. It commands respect almost, and while there is nothing wrong with that, it seems to convey that of a drill sergeant more than a life coach. Maybe it’s just a term of a different time period. I’m not sure exactly, but it would be extremely awkward for me to call my dad ‘Father’.

On a side note, which phrase sounds better anyway? “Who’s your father?” Or, “who’s yo daddy?”

“Oh no he didn’t! He did not just go there.”

“Uuhhh hmmmmm! He sure did girlfriend!”

But I digress.

Therefore, this somewhat explains our tagline, “Any guy can father a child, it takes a man to be a daddy.” There are too many instances where some male members of society either take a spectator’s role in their fathering responsibilities or forsake them altogether. These are essentially the sperm donors or seed spreaders. These are the ones that would prefer to hear Maury Povich say those famous lines, “You are NOT the father.” These are the ones that aren’t able to see past their own nose. They fail to realize the true implications of an innocent child that grows up without a strong male influence.

A daddy knows his role. He is love-stricken at first sight. He takes on his responsibility as life coach and doubts the possibility that he is capable. He learns as the child learns. He makes mistakes and messes up but fixes it and tries again, and again, and again. He cries out to God for help and guidance and seeks counsel from those around him. He’s unsure if he handled that situation correctly but he tries to do the right thing. He hopes he can teach his children how not to make the same mistakes he seems to keep making. Daddies don’t give up and they don’t give in. They love unconditionally until they find out even more love existed than they ever dreamed possible.

Father’s Day is coming up and we are not in the business of trying to change that label to Daddy’s Day or correct anyone’s use of the term ‘father’. This is simply our explanation for how we view our roles and what we are doing. Being a good father and being a good daddy are the exact same thing. However, ultimately, when push comes to shove it is our desire that when our children see us coming that they tell their friends, “that’s MY Dad” or in the case of the picture above, “bab”.

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Our Theme Song

If you’ve followed us on Twitter (@bringdaddyback) or have Liked our Facebook page, then you were aware there were a few things in the works. Well, one of those things has now been completed thanks to my extremely talented cousin who has been writing his own songs and will have a CD out in roughly a month from now. I’m real excited about that and excited for him.

This project has been about two years in the making. This idea started shortly after this site began but life has a funny way of doing things. However, mommajulie disagrees. She believes that it is actually I that has a funny way of doing things. Nonetheless, it is done and we here at Bringing Daddy Back couldn’t be more thrilled to give you our theme song: Bringing Daddy Back (based off Justin Timberlake’s ‘SexyBack’).

Our official music video is in its conception stage at the moment, but do not worry. It too will come at the moment it is intended… or whenever we finish it, whichever comes first. If you enjoyed this and any of our other stuff, please take a moment and follow us on Twitter or Like our Facebook Page for all the latest news. Thank you for your support and we enjoy having fun with you.

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Video: Husband Dies While Saving Wife During Joplin Tornado

Yesterday we had some fun so I apologize for changing the mood so quickly as we enter into the Memorial Day Holiday. This is a touching video that speaks to the heart at what’s really important in life: the ones we love.

There’s no need to expound too much as the Joplin tornado has been well covered and documented so I’ll leave you to watch the video with this lone Bible verse.

John 15:13:
13 Greater love has no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

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Dear daddyJ’s – 5-26-11

Okay boys and girls, here is our legal disclaimer: the following “advice” column is for entertainment purposes and should not be used in the place of professional counseling. Each situation is different and your specific circumstance may require further investigation and assistance by a trained professional.

We take a no-nonsense approach to other people’s problems. You can always count on that. So with that in mind, if you would like some assistance on a particular issue, send us your questions to daddyjs@bringingdaddyback.com.

Dear daddyJ’s,

There are times when my wife doesn’t make any sense to me. I don’t understand her. Can you help? – CONFUSED IN TUCSON

daddyjeff

See that picture? It’s supposedly Volume 1 on a book about women. We haven’t made it past the Table of Contents. The fact that she is a woman inherently implies a lack of understanding on your part. So, no. We can’t help you. Sorry.

The best thing to do is nod in agreement. Even if she comes home with new furniture, you will still come out on top. Time is money and no man really has that kind of time.

daddyjason

It’s unlikely. Since I have plenty of trouble understanding my own wife at times I have doubts that I will be able to understand yours.

I’m joking, of course (well, sort of). The truth is that our mates can be hard to understand sometimes…especially when we’re looking at them through our own point of view. The easiest way of getting to understand your wife better is…wait for it…asking her!

Communication! The pillar of any good relationship is being able to communicate with the other person. You see, God made us all different and there is no one perfect way of understanding another person (especially of the opposite sex). However, by talking to that person, sharing things with that person, and seeking to get to know that person, you also learn how to understand them – you will learn to put yourself in her shoes and see where she’s coming from. Her actions and statements that once confused and bewildered you will actually start to make sense! It’s like magic, but better because you don’t have to distract anyone with prestidigitation (sleight of hand).

Dear daddyJ’s,

Our daughter, “Julie,” came home for the weekend so we could meet her new boyfriend, “Scott.” He’s a delightful young man, and my daughter is clearly smitten.

When I suggested Scott sleep in the guest room, Julie and my wife gave me this perplexed look as though I’m from a different planet. In the end, I was deeply disappointed that they shared a bedroom. After 30 years of marriage, this created the first disagreement between my wife and me in a long time.

I’m no prude. My wife and I had our share of premarital mambo, but we always slept in separate rooms while visiting our families before we were married. It was about respect for our parents’ feelings.

Julie spends a lot of time with Scott’s family where they share a room. My wife is afraid if we don’t provide common accommodations in our home, our daughter will be less inclined to visit.

I welcome your thoughts. Is expecting some sense of propriety being a curmudgeonly father? — STUMPED AND TRUMPED IN OHIO

daddyjeff

First of all, mommajulie and I are going to have a little talk. I need to make sure there are no unapproved extracurricular activities going on around here.

Second of all, I’m going to need you to put on your big boy pants. Oh wait… nevermind, she already has them on. Truthfully, this is a conversation that should have happened long ago, or at the very least once everyone knew visitors were coming. You both need to be on the same page as parents so that when adversity strikes, you can lean on each other for support without fear of the bottom dropping out beneath you. It’s never safe to assume you each know what each other is thinking, especially when it’s your wife.

Age was not given, but since you’ve been married for 30 years, I think it’s safe to assume that “Julie” is an adult by this point. While you still hold the role of guide and teacher, she has probably already formed her own personal moral standards. God will take over from here. I would suggest sitting your wife down in the time out chair… no wait… I mean, sitting your wife down after you’ve made dinner and talk it out. Make sure you have clear cut reasons to support your decision so that next time there is no question as to what the sleeping arrangements are going to be.

Lastly, don’t ever use the word curmudgeonly again.

daddyjason

It’s obvious that you are right and your wife is wrong. And I’m not just saying that because you’re the dad. Just like you mentioned, this is a matter of respect. Now, it would be easy to say this is a moral or religious issue and to say that they shouldn’t be sleeping in the same room simply because they’re not yet married…which is true in your house…but it goes past that argument.

Your wife’s argument kind of sounds like the old classic, “everyone else is doing it,” which doesn’t fly with daddyjason. After all, if everyone else were jumping off a bridge… Your daughter should respect your feelings in this manner whether they stem from your religious beliefs or not and whether it has any bearing on whether or not she has premarital sex at any other time. It doesn’t have to happen under your roof and you have every right to ask that even the appearance of it be dealt with by having them sleep in separate rooms.

I’d hate to suggest you break out the Head of Household card and put your foot down but if you feel strongly enough about it that you took the time to write someone you’ve never met for advice…well, maybe it’s time…and I don’t mean that in a sexist way. But you have every right to ask for respect in this situation and if they won’t give it to you, you should demand it. It’s your house and you make the rules. Hey, that actually fits this situation.

The truth is your wife will know you are right, and, though she may be upset that you’re taking a stand that could result in her seeing less of her daughter, I believe she’ll support you in the end. And yes, your daughter could choose to not visit so she won’t have to abide by your sleep arrangements, but in the end I think she too will see that this is a matter of respect and will respect you enough to acquiesce to your request. After all, she is your daughter.

Editor’s Note: to avoid being accused of plagiarism, we must state that we can neither confirm or deny whether we may have possibly “borrowed” the second question from a Dear Abby submission. Just sayin’.

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Book Review: Who Moved My Cheese?

“An a-mazing way to deal with change in your work and in your life”

While this book doesn’t pertain to daddies per say, we feel it’s one of those must own books. It’s usually used in a business setting but can easily be applied to the family as well, or really anything that involves some type of change.

Who Moved My Cheese? by Spencer Johnson, M.D. is one of our recommended readings. Spencer Johnson co-authored The One-Minute Manager with Ken Blanchard (which is another excellent book). Personally, if you find a book written by either Spencer Johnson, M.D. or Ken Blanchard (or even both), we think you should buy it immediately.

This very small book is easy to read and is also a quick read. The main story portion is only about 50 pages of large print, at least in my copy, with about 15 of those pages consisting of only “cheese hand-writings on the wall” – something you’ll understand once you start reading. These are things that one of the four main characters learns along the way; in reality, it’s probably the character that most readers will identify with most often.

[Possible Spoiler Alert]

I do not intend to give away any important details of the book but just in case your important details and my important details are not aligned, I will give the spoiler alert. The four characters consist of two mice – Sniff and Scurry – and two Littlepeople (essentially mouse-sized human types) – Hem and Haw. They are trapped in a maze in which they must travel through to find cheese. However, they must find The Cheese… with a capital C. The Cheese makes people happy and it’s different for each person.

Throughout the story we learn that Cheese isn’t necessarily a substance that is needed to keep you alive, but it is something that we learn to rely on. That is, until it’s gone. (Insert scary music here) Dunt dunt dunnnn! Life will not stay the course. Life is not dependable; well, other than death and taxes of course. Change is inevitable so it’s important that you are watching and waiting for that change to happen. That way you are prepared to properly deal with it. This book offers a fun way of seeing that need.

This book is easy to find locally or please feel free to check out our recommended readings and order through the link provided via Amazon.com. If you are dealing with any kind of change at the moment, whether it be through your job, your marriage, your kids, or whatever, this quick little story will definitely give you some alternatives to how you view those changes. Your attitude can directly affect your productivity.

Remember that just because something has worked in the past, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s going to be as successful in the future. If you read our recent post The Second Child, you’ll realize it’s something I should have learned a bit faster.

Who Moved My Cheese?
Spencer Johnson, M.D.
G.P. Putnam’s Sons
New York
www.WhoMovedMyCheese.com

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Video: Johnny and Chachi – Killer Marriage Tips

Since the rapture didn’t happen as predicted and we are still here, it’s time to get back to business. We have some fun stuff in store for our readers as well as some serious posts in the works. Today is about fun and helpful… well, sort of… at least helpful in what not to do. Enjoy this little video from Johnny and Chachi (the same pair that brought us the Don’t Song) with special guest Gary Smalley. Killer Marriage Tips:

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The End is Near

It’s been well publicized, talked about, and joked about. Harold Camping has predicted that tomorrow, May 21st, is the beginning of the end for this precious Earth. The rapture is supposed to happen and the Earth will officially be destroyed in October.

As of the time of this post, #iftheworldendsonsaturday is a trending Twitter topic. The CDC (Center for Disease Control and Prevention) recently published some advice on how to survive a zombie apocalypse although I think it’s unrelated.

The point of this post is not to support or deny Harold Camping’s claims. You probably have already made up your mind and you’re either ready for the rapture or ready to say ‘I told you so’. We firmly believe the Bible in Matthew 24:36 which reads (NIT) “No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.” Conclusion: Nobody will know when it will happen; although, I did have a seminary professor state that while he couldn’t figure out the day or hour, he could figure out the month and the year. Actually he couldn’t, because he was wrong more than once.

The point of this post is simple. The end of the world is going to come at some point and as many pastors have joked before – “We are closer to it now than we have ever been before.” Maybe the rapture does happen tomorrow. Maybe it doesn’t happen until the year 5032 (legal disclaimer: that’s not a prediction by the way). The point is that we should live each day like it is our last. We should hug tight the ones we hold dear. We should make sure we say the words ‘I love you’ so that those we love absolutely know it. I need to do that more… a lot more. The point is that if we live this day, whatever day today is, like it is our last – one day we are going to be right and we can leave this world with peace.

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