The Verdict Heard ‘Round the World

Not Guilty.

Those are the words that shocked the nation. There’s no doubt as to what my Tweet meant at roughly 2:00 pm yesterday which simply read, “#notguilty.” The Casey Anthony trial has fascinated many citizens of this country. The “Tot Mom”, as Nancy Grace nicknamed her, was found Not Guilty for murder and manslaughter, but she was found Guilty for lying to law enforcement. But make no mistake, Casey Anthony will only be remembered for getting away with murder as O.J. Simpson still is.

The reactions from the verdict range from shock to sadness to rage and anger. The celebratory manner in which the defense team immediately participated in was probably ill-advised. I don’t know if Jose Baez is the 2011 version of Johnny Cochran or not but several reactionary comments are calling this verdict – OJ Simpson II. The terms “Johnny Cochran,” “#notguilty”, and “#caseyanthonytrial” were the top three trending topics on Twitter as of roughly 3 pm yesterday. Facebook has had countless mentions of the trial as well including an event that was created to keep your Porch lights on for Caylee Marie Anthony that has well over a million attendees at the time this was written.

I honestly don’t have an opinion because I haven’t been following the case. I have not paid attention to the trial or the media coverage other than the past few days of it. Therefore, I can’t give an analysis on this trial. I can offer prayers and support for the jurors however.

I’ve been involved in the jury selection process and I’ve been picked. I was involved in a local high-profile case that lasted a week. During that week, we saw many witnesses and heard many testimonies. We were given a plethora of information as to why the person was guilty and a multitude of reasons why the person was innocent. We were informed to not take into account certain pieces of evidence, to disregard comments, and not to penalize the defendant for not testifying. We had some witnesses return during the rebuttals. It seemed like a mountain of information to go through; yet, a verdict was reached in less than an hour. The human brain is amazing.

Reaching a verdict can be taxing and overwhelming, but it is a very interesting process. I have no doubt that the jurors took their roles seriously. When someone’s life is in your hands so to speak, a vast majority of people will be diligent in making sure they do the right thing. I seriously doubt all twelve jurors lacked the “responsibility” gene. That being said, I hope the outrage that some feel are not released by committing acts of violence upon these jurors. As of the time of this writing, no juror has chosen to speak and no names have been released.

Hopefully, it’s only a matter of time though before at least one does come forward to explain their reasoning. Hiding and remaining secretive will only prolong the restlessness.

(More on this topic to come.)

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Video: Tim, John, and Bob on Marriage

We are huge fans of Tim Hawkins here at BringingDaddyBack.com. Here is a video of some excerpts from his latest available DVD with Bob Smiley and John Branyan – Rockshow Comedy Tour! Enjoy some funny truths about being in a marriage.

Have a great Father’s Day weekend!

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Who Needs a Daddy?

father_childMark Alexander has posted an interesting Essay over at The Patriot Post entitled “Who Needs a Father” that is right in line with the truth we have been espousing on this site and is also quite timely with Father’s Day coming up this weekend.

The essay pays “tribute to the irreplaceable and inseparable institutions of marriage and fatherhood — and the importance of a father’s love, discipline, provision and protection for his family.” It also says a few plain spoken truths about the damage that daddy-less homes have caused in this country.

Below you will find an excerpt from the essay. I encourage you to read the entire essay, however, as there’s plenty of good stuff packed in it.

In 295 B.C., Mencius wrote, “The root of the kingdom is in the state. The root of the state is in the family. The root of the family is in the person of its head.”

When fathers do not take on their parental responsibilities, broken marriages and families are the result. These, in turn, lead to broken societies.

Thus, the failure of fatherhood has much more than mere social or cultural consequences; it is a menacing national security threat. The collective social pathology of the fatherless presents a great obstacle to Liberty and the survival of our republican form of government as outlined by our Constitution.

Father’s Day should thus be a call to action. Indeed, the majority of social entropy afflicting our nation today originates in homes without fathers, which definition includes those without functioning or effective fathers.

Currently, almost 60 percent of black children, 32 percent of Hispanic children and 21 percent of white children live in single-parent homes. (See Bill Cosby’s “Truth about Black America.”) According to the CDC, DoJ, DHHS and the Bureau of the Census, children who live apart from their fathers account for 63 percent of teen suicides, 70 percent of juveniles in state-operated institutions, 71 percent of high-school dropouts, 75 percent of children in chemical-abuse centers, 80 percent of rapists, 85 percent of youths in prison, 85 percent of children who exhibit behavioral disorders, and 90 percent of homeless and runaway children. (When these children become “adults,” the social consequences become even worse.)

Generationally, daughters who have been abandoned by their fathers are seven times more likely to have children as teenagers and 92 percent more likely to divorce.

A successful fatherhood begins with a healthy marriage. To be good fathers, we must first be good husbands.

I have been blessed with many mentors, including Dr. Jim Lee, director of Living Free ministries. Jim taught me that the Christian marriage paradigm is built on a foundation of five principles: “First, God is the creator of the marriage relationship; second, heterosexuality is God’s pattern for marriage; third, monogamy is God’s design for marriage; fourth, God’s plan for marriage is for physical and spiritual unity; and fifth, marriage was designed to be permanent.”

Concern about marital infidelity and the consequences for children are timeless. John Adams wrote in his diary on 2 June 1778, “The foundation of national morality must be laid in private families. … How is it possible that Children can have any just Sense of the sacred Obligations of Morality or Religion if, from their earliest Infancy, they learn their Mothers live in habitual Infidelity to their fathers, and their fathers in as constant Infidelity to their Mothers?”

I note here that while most fatherless homes are the result of neglect on the part of fathers, an increasing number of fatherless homes result from mothers who separate without reasonable grounds from the fathers of their children.

Fortunately, some young people reared by a single parent, or in critically dysfunctional or impoverished homes, overcame that impediment. Either they were blessed with a parent who, against all but insurmountable odds, instilled them with the values and virtues of good citizenship or, somewhere along the way, those children were lifted out of their misery by some other grace of God — often in the form of a significant mentor who modeled individual responsibility and good character.

However, the vast majority of children from homes without fathers are not so fortunate, as statistically confirmed above.

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Video: Comedian Tim Hawkins “Scary Bedtime Prayer”

Here’s a quick little video to get you going on this Friday in preparation for the weekend. I hope you are able to spend it with your family… and I hope you don’t scare your kids with this well known prayer.

On a side note, Tim Hawkins will be on Fox News Channel’s “Huckabee” as a guest of Governer Mike Huckabee this Saturday June 11. Check your local area but generally the show should begin around 8:00pm Eastern/7:00pm Central.

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Dear daddyJ’s – 6-9-11

Okay boys and girls, here is our legal disclaimer: the following “advice” column is for entertainment purposes and should not be used in the place of professional counseling. Each situation is different and your specific circumstance may require further investigation and assistance by a trained professional.

We take a no-nonsense approach to other people’s problems. You can always count on that. So with that in mind, if you would like some assistance on a particular issue, send us your questions to daddyjs@bringingdaddyback.com.

Dear daddyJ’s,

Do you want to watch your child being born? Prefer to stay up by your wife’s head? Or don’t want to be in the room at all? I’m curious as to what all of the men prefer. – TO WATCH OR NOT TO WATCH IN VERNAL?

daddyjeff

To each his own on this one. However, I personally did not watch the birth of my two sons per se. I occupied my time holding one of my wife’s hands repeating the words, “Push, you can do it, and breath” in whatever order addressed the need at the moment. My body was to my wife’s side but I was steadfastly facing her head and my back was facing towards the “affected area”.

Video cameras were outlawed because there are some things only a trained professional should handle. My personal opinion is that doctors go to school for about 8 years for a reason. And that reason is because it takes that long to numb someone to the site of a bloody head poking out of a va-jayjay. I didn’t cut the chord. (And maybe I should have) I also didn’t eat the placenta. We’ll just leave that to those freaks that come out at night.

daddyjason

I think the days of the men hanging out in the waiting room, telling war stories and passing out cigars really was the epitome of male involvement in the birthing process. I think most men, secretly on the inside, agree with me. That being said, it’s pretty standard for men to be in the birthing room now. But being IN the room and WATCHING what’s happening are two different things. Be there, be supportive…but be careful where you look. Some things can never be forgotten…

Dear daddyJ’s,

A few months ago, my best friend from childhood, “Stacey,” got married. I was her maid of honor. Stacey’s parents have been separated since we graduated high school but just haven’t divorced yet (financial reasons). Anyway, at the wedding, I had more than a few drinks (after all, it was open bar and my job as MOH was to lead the fun). Stacey’s dad, “Bob,” and I started talking. A lot. When we were teens, Stacey’s friends and I used to joke that her dad was hot. Well, wow. He actually is. There was a connection. Needless to say, it was awkward around Stacey’s mom since she used to make us cookies all the time and here I am flirting with her almost ex-husband. He’s my best friend’s dad. It’s weird, I know. Anyway, after the wedding, Bob and I started dating. We didn’t tell anyone. He makes me laugh, has great taste in wine, and well, let’s just say that there’s some benefits to dating an older, more experienced man.

I’ve wanted to tell Stacey but there really is no easy way to say it. Her parents are separated and are going to divorce, but it still really bothers her. Bob wants to tell her, but I’ve been taking an “I’ll deal with it tomorrow” approach. But here’s the real problem. Bob has Red Sox season tickets. He has four seats for their next game against the Yankees. He wants to invite Stacey and her husband. And me. Can we say awkward? I know I need to tell Stacey and I certainly don’t want a scene at Fenway. (I mean, it’s the Yankees!). How do I tell her? I don’t want to ruin anything. I am enjoying my time with Bob. I like him and I want to keep seeing him. I also don’t want to lose my best friend. Do I just show up at the game with Bob and hope she doesn’t flip out? Do I talk to her ahead of time? Does Bob tell her? – I’M IN LOVE WITH STACEY’S DAD IN BOSTON

daddyjeff

There are a ton of issues going on here and most of them revolve around you. Nonetheless, I think this is best answered in song.

I know that…

[Chorus]
Stacey’s Dad must have it goin’ on,
He’s what you want,
The divorce is taking so long,
Stacey can’t you see,
You’re friend is a hoe fo sho,
It’s so totally wrong,
That you’re in love with Stacy’s Dad.

That potentially was a tad bit harsh, but we here at Bringing Daddy Back despise divorces. They are ill-advised solutions and fail to resolve the core issue of the problem. In most cases, divorces cause more problems than whatever issue existed in the first place that “caused” the divorce. Besides, they are still married so you will be forever entrenched in the “Home-wrecker” category regardless of how you justify your actions.

So to answer your question, it really doesn’t matter when you tell her. Stacey is going to be irate at you and angry at her dad for some unspecified time period. Honesty is always the best policy and if she is ever going to be your friend again, the sooner you tell her then the sooner time will start to take effect and the sooner that will happen (if it ever does). My actual suggestion is that you end this love affair so that maybe some type of reconciliation, if possible, may begin and the divorce will be averted.

Nonetheless, thanks for the question. I really enjoyed listening to some Fountains of Wayne as I prepared my response.

daddyjason

I just don’t think it’s cool that you were flirting with Stacey’s dad when her mom was making you cookies. I think you might have crossed some sort of line there. And I’m not sure but I’m thinking Stacey isn’t going to be cool with the fact that you trace your relationship to her dad back to her own wedding. The whole thing leaves a bad taste in my mouth…tastes like burned cookies. I think the Red Sox game is the least of your worries. I don’t see any way this doesn’t end with Stacey flipping out. It’s going to be uglier than what the Yankees are going to do to the Sox. I suggest you skip the game and spend that time finding a new best friend cause the one you got is gonna be gone at the end of this story.

Editor’s Note: to avoid being accused of plagiarism, we must state that we can neither confirm or deny whether we may have possibly “borrowed” these questions (with some editing) from online sources until we begin to receive actual questions. Just sayin’.

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What a Daddy Can Learn from the Bible – Jeremiah’s Call and Commission

Jeremiah’s Call and Commission

4 Now the word of the LORD came to me saying,
5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
And before you were born I consecrated you;
I have appointed you a prophet to the nations.”
6 Then I said, “Alas, Lord GOD!
Behold, I do not know how to speak,
Because I am a youth.”
7 But the LORD said to me,
“Do not say, ‘I am a youth,’
Because everywhere I send you, you shall go,
And all that I command you, you shall speak.
8 “Do not be afraid of them,
For I am with you to deliver you,” declares the LORD.

Jeremiah 1:4-8 (NASB)

It is not my intention to use these verses out of context necessarily. I am acutely aware that God is speaking directly to Jeremiah here about being a prophet to the kings and people of Judah so that they repent and turn away from their wickedness and turn back to the One True God. I’m aware that this is more a record of a particular event rather than a teaching lesson (i.e., one of Jesus’ parables).

However, there are concepts here that I think a Daddy can gain hope in. First, God knew us even before we were formed in the womb. I don’t believe that God was only able to know Jeremiah before his birth. I think he was simply reiterating to Jeremiah a small scope of his awesomeness. He knew us all. There were personalities and attributes given to us by God that would one day prepare us for daddyhood. Obviously not all of us were consecrated and appointed to be prophets to leaders of nations, but we were all purposed to follow God’s instruction by being faithful spouses, honest employees, and God-fearing parents.

Second, age is not an excuse. A daddy can love his children and desire to be a positive role model at any point in his life. Children can understand mistakes, but children will never understand why their daddy didn’t love them. I know there have been times when I felt stupid as a parent. I’ve wondered if I handled certain situations correctly and I blamed my youth and inexperience for any wrongdoing. While those appear to be valid justifications for missteps, it’s important to keep in mind the purpose of parenting. As far as I’m concerned, when all is said and done, I’ve fulfilled my ultimate goal as a parent when both of my boys have been born again through their acceptance of Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior.

If your heart is in the right place, your kids will know it and there will always be hope as we find later in the book of Jeremiah.

Jeremiah 29:11: (NASB)
11 For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.

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Dad Life Video

This video is just over a year old but it still makes me smile, especially the older guy who received very poor training on how to look tough. Ha ha! Enjoy.

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